To the Old Man at the Gym

I hope for your sake you are not on the Stairmaster for OVER AN HOUR (for the third Sunday in a row) the next time I see you at the gym! There are only two of those machines in the entire gym. It would be polite not to spend so much time on one of them while others are WAITING!!!

I would really hate to see you accidentally fall off of the Stairmaster...that could be dangerous for a man of your age.

PS

Nevermind. I don't even know why I care. I hate the Stairmaster. Every time I get on it my body screams profanities at me throughout the entire thirty minutes. In fact, I should be happy that you are on it every single Sunday. I should be asking you to please be using it everytime I go to the gym so I have an excuse for not using it. It is the devil!