WE ARE LYCANS!!

Apologies to the members of my man-harem. You will be neglected for a little while. Perhaps I may even return to monogamy. I will keep you posted.

Dreamland, Part III

I had this dream awhile back (prior to the horror dream of my untimely demise) that was pretty funny. Hilarious, actually.

I dreamed that it was Superbowl Sunday. I dreamed that my boyfriend was Pakistani, and my adopted dad came over and was acting like a racist ass hole. My sister was there as well. My dad finally left, after I yelled at him about his intolerable behavior. After that, my boyfriend made me some kind of weird tea mixture that had curry in it. I drank it and felt better (I was not feeling well the day before).Then he left.

After I drank the weird tea, my sister put on her coat and was getting ready to leave as well. Before she left, she went to the refrigerator and pulled out a big fat sandwich with all kinds of meats and cheeses on it. She said "I made this for dad for the Superbowl, but I don't like the way he was treating your boyfriend. So I am giving his sandwich to your cat Mufasa."

She then placed the plate with the sandwich on the table and turned around to leave. Mufasa got up on the chair with his front feet on the table, and pulled a big piece of Swiss cheese off of the sandwich. Then, he noticed there was a bag of groceries across the table sitting on the other chair, with some sliced yellow cheese on top. So he got up on the table and walked over to the chair, and used his mouth to pull (with the Swiss cheese still hanging out of his mouth) a slice of yellow cheese out of the package. I laughed and said in a chiding tone, "Mufasa!"

That is when my cat looked at me and, in a voice slightly muffled by his mouthful of cheeses, said: "Hey! It's Game Day!"

Hilarious! I literally woke up laughing!

PS
No, I did not make this up. This was an actual dream that I had on 12/22/08

Weather

It currently reminds me of a pleasant summer afternoon in Ireland..

Dreamland, Part II

I have been having really vivid, wacky dreams lately. Most of the time they are just strange, even funny, but they seldom scare me. That is, until last Friday.

I dreamed that I went to a fortune teller for a reading. He told me that in two or three years I was going to die. I was going to be kidnapped, raped, and tortured by a brown-haired man with a goatee, who, when he was finished raping and torturing me, was going to throw me down an abandoned mine shaft, where I would die. Needless to say, this reading frightened me. It also pissed me off, and I told the fortune teller to get bent.

Then I went to another fortune teller. This fortune teller confirmed what the first fortune teller told me. Even more frightened, but slightly less pissed off, I decided to go to a palmist (so ok this dream is not just scary it's weird and out of character too). The palmist told me that she couldn't be so specific as to confirm what the two fortune tellers had told me, but she could say that my life line ended abruptly about two or three years in the future. At this point I was very, very scared, and still a little pissed off.

So I went over to my friend Hilary's, and told her what the fortune tellers and palmist had told me. I told her that I did not want to be kidnapped, raped, tortured, and thrown down an abandoned mine shaft to die. Hilary calmly told me that I should not worry about it. That I should accept that it was my fate to be raped and murdered by this brown-haired man with a goatee, and that I had no one but myself to blame, as it wouldn't happen if I hadn't lost so much weight. Now at this point I am beyond pissed off. I am enraged. I said several unsavory phrases to Hilary, including many specifically about her mother.

I said "Fate? Fuck fate! I am NOT going to be raped and murdered by a brown haired man with a goatee! I'm buying a fucking gun!" So I went out and bought a shiny silver 9mm gun and put it in my purse. Then I went to the grocery store and as I was shopping a brown haired man with a goatee came up beside me and smiled a crazy smile and said 'HI!'. The next thing I knew I was lying on the ground at the bottom of a mine shaft and all of my bones were broken. Then I was looking down at myself from above.

Then I woke up. Thank god! That dream was scary as hell!

PS
If I turn up missing, be sure to check all the abandoned mines for my body. Also be on the look-out for a brown haired man with a goatee.

Non-Profit Vs. Corporation

While the pay is not quite as good as the Corporation, I am going to side with the Non-Profit.

Not only are the benefits (as a whole) better than the Corporation (at least the specific one I have in mind at the moment), it's a wonderful feeling to know that you are working for an agency whose focus is not to pad the pockets of a greedy owner, but rather on service. Service to children, minorities, disabled folk, and refugees.

I can't believe I stayed in the other place for as long as I did. Taking this new job is the best decision I have made in a very long time. Knowing that I am contributing to the greater good makes taking less money totally worth it.

Dreamland

I wonder why I keep dreaming about Stephen Colbert? It's not like he's the epitome of manliness. Perhaps it is his sense of humor. His show is always good for a hearty guffaw. Still, it seems odd to me that I keep dreaming about him.

At least this time he didn't eat my pomegranates!

Though he did scold me for flirting with Dane Cook...

Seventy-Nine Days

Then, at long last, my teeth will be free!!

That orthodontist has better not be teasing me, and my teeth had better be perfect. For four years and untold sums of money, they had better be perfect!