A funny

This is morbid. I can't believe I laughed until I cried!!

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite ravioli wafting up the stairs.He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite ravioli. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?He threw himself t owards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the ravioli was already in his mouth. With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife. 'Get away!' she said, 'Those are for the funeral!'

Countdown

Two days, two hours and thirty-seven minutes left to go.

But who's counting?

Snakes

After the argument I had on Thursday night, I decided to double check the company policy on flex time and giving notice. The policy does state that an employee must give two weeks notice in order to be paid for their flex time when they go.

Yesterday morning I decided, just to be safe, that I had better make a copy of said policy. I brought the handbook upstairs, opened up to the correct page, and surprise! The policy had been mysteriously modified since I last looked at it - early Friday morning. Now, the policy states that an employee must work all scheduled days in the two week notice period, and 'paid days off' do not count toward this time'. How convenient for my employer that the policy now reads in their favor, since next Thursday is Thanksgiving!

I looked up the document online (not password protected) and checked under properties - just to be certain that the policy had been changed, and I did not miss read it. Sure enough, Friday morning at 9:48 a.m., the policy was modified. Perhaps I should change it back.

I can't believe that it is possible for me to still be astonished at the blatant dishonesty and sneaky underhandedness of the management in this place. I have never in my life worked with such a two faced bunch of liars and crooks.

The sad thing is that they think we are all so stupid we can't figure anything out. They figure we are so pathetic we won't fight back. Yet, they are the ones stupid enough to train the new payroll person, right next to me. I heard them instruct her to sneak and pay people incorrectly for their overtime and regular wages. If the employee questions their paycheck, the new girl was to 'just tell them it was a mistake and we'll correct it next pay period - but hopefully, they won't notice."

I am so reporting this place when I leave.

Weaklings

So by now I'm sure you've read my blog about the drama that occurred yesterday afternoon at my office. How horribly the owner (S.) behaved, and how I responded.

Well, here is another little tidbit. As soon S. went downstairs yesterday, Barbie, aka my supervisor, came up to me and began to apologize profusely. She said she had meant to send S. the e-mail approving me taking Friday and Monday off. I abruptly replied to Barbie that it was not her fault. Yet, she continued to apologize to me, for the owner's dispicable behavior. Thank the gods, she finally just shut the hell up and went home.

While I understand that Barbie was trying soothe me, I have to say, I hold her in contempt for this. There is no way on earth she is responsible for S.'s behavior! I wanted to tell her to shut up and get some balls! Don't apologize to me for someone else's behaviors. S. was responsible for her own actions, nobody else.

I am so disgusted with this place I don't know how I am going to even make it through next week!

"Apology" Memo from the Boss

Last night the owner of the company found out that my supervisor had approved for me to use my two days of flex time by taking Friday and Monday off, rather than pay it out after my two weeks notice. She proceeded to throw a complete fit. She literally stammered and stuttered and her face turned bright red. Once she was able to speak, she accused me of lying about how much flex time I had, and told me that I was 'bailing' on the company. She claimed that I did not give proper notice, that she did not get to see my e-mail until late Wednesday evening and therefore couldn't really take any action to find a replacement. (What happened to the prayers that God supposedly answered?)

She said that the company policy states employees only get paid for their flex time if they give two weeks notice. Of course I defended myself - nobody pushes me around. So, it escalated to the point where she was literally screaming at me and talking to me as if I were one of her children (all of whom hate her, by the way) and of course began to accuse me of not doing my job, and leaving the company with a great big mess in billing (completely and utterly untrue and I have the numbers to back me up) and said that she would NOT pay me my flex time, that I did NOT give two weeks notice (even though I did). I began to pack up my desk, then, and told her "Today is my last day." She tried to guilt me (as if), and said again how could I bail on the company and leave them on such short notice. I said "I gave proper notice, and you are trying to cheat me out of my flex time that I have rightfully earned because you are cheap." I held my ground and told her if she didn't pay me I was walking out.

She backed down, then, reluctantly. After I forced her (in front of three other people) to give me her word that she would pay me my flex time if I worked the days instead of taking them off, she made sure to demand that I put in a full 80 hours. She didn't care when I did it, if I had to come in on the weekends or work long days. Of course, she means a full 80 hours not to include the holiday or last Monday. You see neither her nor Julie were here for me to give my notice to on Monday; so I typed up the e-mail Monday and when Julie was here on Tuesday, I sent it to her. This is why she claims that Monday does not count as part of my notice. I wonder, was I expected to call her while she was on vacation, or my supervisor while she was at home? What the stupid bitch doesn't get is that now she's going to have to pay me 16 hours of overtime. It's going to be hilarious when she sees my time card!

So this morning I came into work at 9 (I'm supposed to be here at 8:30), did not sign her spy log (I will not ever sign it again) and proceeded to go upstairs to work. She was walking by, saw me, and waited for me. She said very cheerily, "Good morning!" She was greeted with a flat look from me, after which I proceeded to walk upstairs without a word. About an hour later, I received this e-mail. I have not responded.

Hi Katie,
Sorry for the way the conversation went yesterday and anything I said that hurt your feelings. I was pretty blown out of the water with the thought you were taking Friday, Monday and Thanksgiving off but I still wish I had not reacted as much as I did. I am sorry for upsetting you and I hope we can get through the next week in a productive and kind way.

I appreciate the work you have done, you have done a lot of clean up and brought in a lot of $$. You have learned a lot in a year and I hope it was a valuable experience for you both personally and professionally.

I have made a list to help us with remembering the key areas we need to review. I am sure there are many more elements but hopefully this will provide us a guide to be sure we cover what is urgent. Please let me know how you see the time working out to cover each of these areas. I will try to be flexible and appreciate you coming in to help us transition.

List to guild us:
Assure K., myself, L., and Barbie are all able to login to DDE and transmittal and RA programs
Work Side by side with L., and Barbie to submit a Medicare secondary payer bill on line to DDE
Medicare secondary payer issues- who do we have and have they been keyed into DDE- spread sheet?
Work side by Side with Barbie and M. to submit a Medicare HMO invoice: Identify what Medicare HMO clients with unpaid finals_document, update spreadsheet
Eligibility reviews for all clients-where documentation can be found? files, spreadsheets?
Review why finals not paid for all episodes ended more than 45 days ago. Sept and older. Last claim submitted?
Reconcile spreadsheets for every client, every episode (what billed, what paid, adjustments? Unpaid balances)
AR review of all problem clients (claims not paid in 45 days or in anything but paid status)
DDE login review, claims outstanding
Current unbillable claims
Current Raps ready to cancel
Tracking system for billing, raps and finals-current system used. Documentation of all corrections not in HS?
Have L., Barbie and M. practice updating spread sheets for MCR and MCR HMO's to be sure we know how to use the spread sheet
This is just a quick list and certainly not completely comprehensive of all we need to review but hopefully helpful. I am sure you will have plenty to add.

Thank you Katie, I appreciate your help through this transition and I am sorry for the stressful situation and anything I said that upset you. I know you are trying to be helpful and professional. S.

Sexual Harrassment and Discrimination

They fired someone at my office this week. A female CNA. The story is that they fired her because she sent a text message to another female CNA, saying something along the lines of :

"I think you are so hot I could just eat you up."

Ok, so clearly this is sexual harassment. It's inappropriate. Action definitely needed to be taken, and it was. However, my question is this. Did they fire this employee because of the sexual harassment, or because she is a lesbian?


The subcontracted social worker in our office physically put his hands on me, and rubbed his body against mine in a blatantly sexual manner (and I am not the only person he's done this to). He has made sexist, sexual comments about women in the office on several occasions. I complained about him three different times, and nothing was done about it until I complained a fourth time. At which point HR supposedly 'talked' to him about his behavior. What's more, this apparently had no effect, because within two days, he made a very clear attempt to intimidate me.

And now a female, who happens to be a lesbian, is fired immediately over one text message. No investigation was done regarding her claims that the situation was not one-sided. Is it just me, or is there something off balance here? Why is a Hispanic lesbian fired over one text message and a middle aged white man only gets 'talked to', despite the fact he is a repeat offender?

To the Orthodontist

Were you an Inquisitor General during the Spanish Inquisition in your last life? Less than 15 minutes at the hands of your assistants, and I am ready to confess and name heretics!

To my work

#@*%&$%(!!! You c$#k s$&%ers!!

Note to Self

Be sure to work out on Sunday afternoons around two p.m. This appears to be the time when the Greek gods come down from Olympus and exercise among the humans.

To the Finns

I bow to you! The sauna is, in my opinion, the greatest invention since the wheel.

Accident

Last night I had an unfortunate accident. I managed to splash bleach into my eye. Yes, that's right. Bleach. In my eye.

How the hell I managed this is still a mystery to me. What I can tell you, however, is that it is not an experience I would recommend. Especially after one has already had two surgeries on their eyes. It hurts like a son of a bitch!

Running water through your eyes for 15 to 20 minutes like the caution section on the bottle instructs is also quite unpleasant. Have you ever run cold water through your open eye for twenty minutes? It hurts almost as bad as the bleach! Your eye swells up, and despite the fact that it is weeping like an old woman at a wedding, it feels as if it is full of sand (yes, I've had that in my eye too, thank you very much Davy Sanders)!

Fortunately, today my eye is just fine. No sight problems (I was lucky - the bleach only reached the white of my eye - it didn't touch the iris or pupil), and it doesn't even hurt anymore. I think those of us who are accident prone, clumsy fools must be endowed with a little bit of extra good luck to make up for it.

There's one in every office...

Here it is - another blog about my office. I have posted so many, and yet it is not enough. While my blogs regarding the office are generally negative (and this is no exception) I thought I would start this blog off on a more positive note.

The owner went on vacation today. She will be in Boston until the 19th of November. Hallelujah!! She called us all downstairs and announced it to us. She started off with a joke - she said she was retiring. The response was dead silence. We all hoped she was serious, but alas, she was not. Then she proceeded to announce that P. was to be in charge during her absence. Now we all love P., at least, those of use who actually do our jobs, love P. Nonetheless, it grated on our nerves, as it was another demonstration of the owner's obsessive need for control. Still, we were all pretty stoked that she will be gone for nearly two weeks.

With that being said, let's move on to the main point of this blog. Recently the 'office manager' and scheduler - we'll call her Little Dumpling - has moved her desk upstairs (at the request of the owner, of course). Now, I was aware that Dumpling had some issues prior to her moving upstairs, so her behavior isn't entirely surprising. I am, however, surprised at the frequency of said behavior. Surprised, and utterly annoyed.

Firstly, she is a first class suck up. Not to K. and to me, because we can't get her anywhere or do anything for her. But to the folks in HR, and the supervisor (aka Barbie), she offers suck ups galore. Additionally, Dumpling is the office tattle-tale. Several times a day -and I do mean several - she is in Barbie's office - or HR's office - tattling on someone. For the simplest things. Today she told on the other scheduler, S., for forwarding her calls to Dumpling's desk while S. was at lunch. Then she proceeded to explain how she had told S. to do that yesterday. S. apparently thought she meant to do that on a permanent basis. It was a simple misunderstanding, for Christ's sake!

Oh, but there is more! Dumpling is also a busybody, to the extreme. She will eavesdrop on co-workers telephone conversations, look over their shoulders at their PC monitors, and snoop around their desks. If she suspects there is anything interesting going on with a co-worker, she will immediately get up from her desk and go into that persons work area and begin an interrogatory. She constantly sends 'secret' e-mails, and begins conversations with Barbie about them, making sure that the tone of the conversation is covert. All day long she is either tattling, sucking-up, or whispering conspiratorially to someone about something. Today she has added something new. She literally screamed profanities at an employee over the phone!!

I am in the process of moving forward, career-wise. I just don't know how much more of this I can take! This place is driving me to drink!

Inigo Montoya

Book Club

So I joined a book club with my friend Sara last April. Being an avid reader, I was very excited about it. At the first meeting, we selected all the books that we would read over the next year. We have read three of these books so far.

I have to say, I've been quite disappointed. All three books were highly-acclaimed, award winning books. I have not liked a single one. The first two were atrocious. The last one wasn't quite as bad, but it still felt like a waste of time to read it. Sadly, the consensus with the other members of the club is the same (with the exception of Teresa, who appears to favor the underdog).

Our next meeting is December 6th. This book is called 'Maps for Lost Lovers', by Nadeem Aslam. It's about a Pakistani couple in England who disappear. It is suspected they were murdered in an 'honor' killing. It looks to Sara and I like it will be a good read. I am afraid to get my hopes up, however, after all the previous disappointments.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

An Insult for the Boss

I wonder if I said the following to my boss (when she gets mean), if she would recognize which movie it's from?

"You wart-hog faced buffoon!"

Autumn Days

I love autumn days like this. It's cold, but the air feels so fresh, and the colors are gorgeous. It's the kind of day when you'd like put on a hat and go for a walk, and hope that just before you get back home it starts to snow. Then you would have a reason to go inside and light a fire, where you could warm up your nose and hands, while drinking a hot-buttered rum and listening to classical music. (Or maybe Diana Krall.)

These are the kind of days when I miss the Balkans. The mountains, white with snow by now, and the villages beneath with their fiery colored trees and cobblestone streets (I loved the sound my boots made on those stones). The little taverns with traditional music, food, and drink. Such a simple village life, there - and yet so satisfying. If only for a little while.

I love autumn days like this.

A Question

Do you believe people are all basically good? When I was a little girl, I certainly did. Now, after years of experience in the big wide world, I am not so sure. I don’t believe by any means that people are basically bad. I think the conclusion that I have reached is this. Generally speaking, people are not basically good, or bad. They are basically selfish. My friend Darrell said it best with the phrase that most people would say if they were to be honest:

“Me first, fuck you!”

This does not mean that I am a cynic, though I realize I sound like one. Nonetheless, the truth is that most people will lie, cheat, and steal to get what they want. They will use past events and current trends to justify their actions. Sadly, most of the of the time if people were just honest, they would most likely end up with exactly what they want – sans the complications that inevitably arise from deception.

Nobody’s perfect. How could they be? It’s a relative concept. And I have made mistakes, just like everyone else. I’ve said and done hurtful things. However, as I get older and I learn more about life, I find myself stopping to think for a moment before I act. I think of how my behavior effects others. Is this action loving, or unloving? Kind, or unkind? Is this behavior balanced for all parties involved? This person is someone’s son, or daughter, brother or sister. Somebody loves them very much. Would I want my son or daughter, brother or sister, to be treated by someone else the way I am treating this person?

I’ve also learned that clinging to past hurts and fears is not beneficial. All it does is eat you up from the inside, and most likely will lead to others getting hurt – like an endless cycle of pain. It’s hard, but I’ve learned to forgive. I learn to let go. I use hurtful experiences as opportunities for the future – opportunities to help me remember to always treat others with compassion (though this is not to indicate that I will throw my pearls before swine a second time).

When I was a little girl, I lived on a farm. We had pigs and chickens, horses and cows, sheep and goats. We had turkeys and geese and cats and dogs. My adopted father was quite brutal to these animals. I am a very sensitive person and this cruelty on his part truly disturbed me. When I was 8 years old, he gave me an ax and handed me a chicken and told me to chop it’s head off. I was hysterical. I couldn’t see through the tears in my eyes to do what he asked me to do. He told me that I would get use to it – that I would toughen up and get strong – that animals did not feel pain and therefore did not suffer. But I did not believe him. I knew they suffered and as time passed, I only became more sensitive to that suffering.

I am like a pale skinned person who goes out in the sun and gets burned, but never tanned. I get hurt, but I don’t get calloused. I crawl under my rock for awhile and lick my wounds, and when I come out I am not harder. I am only wiser, and more sensitive. I am more kind than I was before.

I am an anomaly, I guess. I believe, however, if more people took a couple of seconds to think about how their actions effect others – that the world would be a much better place. There would be a lot less suffering in this world if we all at least tried to be a little more compassionate.

All in a day at the office!

Two weeks ago my supervisor, AKA Barbie, took it upon herself to yell at me so loud that the whole office downstairs heard her. Below is a summation of what her opinion of me was at that time:

1. I am extremely aggressive.
2. She is terrified of me.
3. I give her excuses on a daily basis of why I have not done my job.
4. I forget everything.
5. I am cheating on my time cards.
6. I always procrastinate the most important things.
7. I am not aggressive enough in getting Medicaid and Medicare to pay claims.
8. I miss way too much work.
9. I am a liar.
10. I cling tenaciously to my work - I want to do it myself, and I refuse to let anyone help me.

There are several problems with the above list. Therefore, I would like to respond to each and every item on it. Please see below.

1. I am not aggressive enough. If I were, she wouldn't be yelling at me. I'll have to work on that.
2. She should be afraid of me. She has no idea what I'm capable of.
3. If I have not done my job, then why was she so mad at me? I thought that was my job.
4. I forgot what my point on this item was going to be.
5. Why shouldn't I cheat on my time cards? According to Barbie and the owner, everyone is.
6. I will write the answer to this item tomorrow.
7. If I am not aggressive enough with Medicare and Medicaid, then why is my name and photo on their 'no admit' list for entry into their buildings?
8. I have only been out sick twice a week since the beginning of the year. Did the company policy change? I thought we were allowed up to five days a week? Or maybe it was five days a year?
9. I only lie to cover up the fact that I am not doing anything all day except looking at pornography.
10. Get away from my desk! This is MY work!!! I will do it!


Why do I bring all of this up now? Well, today Barbie decides to compliment me. She tells me what an excellent job I am doing on the Medicare and Medicaid claims. How in all the years that she has been here (ten) she has never seen the aging so clean, and so many claims paid. That she is extremely impressed with how I do my job. That she had been trying to get previous Medical Billers to do as great of work as I do.

Earlier this morning she also sent me a complimentary e-mail. Apparently, the owner is very happy with my work, and appreciates all that I do. And yes, the owner has sent me a few e-mails complimenting me on my work as well.

Are these people on crack!? Two weeks ago I am an aggressive, lying, forgetful, lazy crook who is terrorizing them, and today, I am the best Medical Biller they have ever had! I have not changed any of my work habits in those two weeks. Other than sending some extra e-mails for CYA purposes (after being called a liar). That's it! Even if I had, how could I possibly go from such a monster to such a dream in two weeks!? Apparently, it depends on their moods whether or not I am a valuable employee.

I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone!

Insane Freaks

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I was going to become one of those insane freaks who get up before (not at - before) the crack of dawn to go to the gym. The idea is to get your workout done before work, instead of after, so you can have your evenings free (I think I must have been on crack at the time I made this decision - that is the only possible explanation for me to come up with such a ridiculous idea).

So this morning my alarm goes off at 4:50 (I set it ten minutes early so that I would be able to hit the snooze a couple of times), and after I woke up, I laid in bed thinking:

"Why on earth would someone in their right mind want to get up at FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!? And not just get up, but get up and actually exercise at this god-awful hour?"

I continued to lay in bed for about seven minutes, trying to think of some excuses why I should go back to sleep. Instead, I managed somehow to find reasons NOT to say in bed (the crack was clearly not out of my system yet).

So, I get up, get coffee, have breakfast, and finally head out to the gym. When I arrive, I see that I am not alone. Plenty of other insane freaks are up and exercising as well. In fact, I actually found some that were more extreme than me. There were several people playing raquetball. Raquetball! Now, that is truly crazy. I mean, who does that? That is way too social for 6 a.m.!! If I tried to play raquetball at that hour, somebody would get hurt, and I am pretty sure it wouldn't be me.

As it turns out, I had a really great workout. There weren't many of the big muscle men there, so all the weights I needed were available. Nor was the stairmaster-hogging old man there, so I got my thirty minutes on that (no, the gym did not install a water fountain on top of the stairmaster - that was just me - sweating). The only downside was that Chicken Man was not there. I find his antics quite entertaining. I have my music and all, but when I am up that high on the stairmaster, it's nice to have something fun to look at - it distracts me from the agony (the word master in that name is quite appropriate).

Hopefully, I will be able to keep this up long enough for it to become a habit. I am not a morning person! This takes discipline - I would much rather sleep.