Friday, November 7, 2008
Book Club
So I joined a book club with my friend Sara last April. Being an avid reader, I was very excited about it. At the first meeting, we selected all the books that we would read over the next year. We have read three of these books so far.
I have to say, I've been quite disappointed. All three books were highly-acclaimed, award winning books. I have not liked a single one. The first two were atrocious. The last one wasn't quite as bad, but it still felt like a waste of time to read it. Sadly, the consensus with the other members of the club is the same (with the exception of Teresa, who appears to favor the underdog).
Our next meeting is December 6th. This book is called 'Maps for Lost Lovers', by Nadeem Aslam. It's about a Pakistani couple in England who disappear. It is suspected they were murdered in an 'honor' killing. It looks to Sara and I like it will be a good read. I am afraid to get my hopes up, however, after all the previous disappointments.
I'll let you know how it turns out.
I have to say, I've been quite disappointed. All three books were highly-acclaimed, award winning books. I have not liked a single one. The first two were atrocious. The last one wasn't quite as bad, but it still felt like a waste of time to read it. Sadly, the consensus with the other members of the club is the same (with the exception of Teresa, who appears to favor the underdog).
Our next meeting is December 6th. This book is called 'Maps for Lost Lovers', by Nadeem Aslam. It's about a Pakistani couple in England who disappear. It is suspected they were murdered in an 'honor' killing. It looks to Sara and I like it will be a good read. I am afraid to get my hopes up, however, after all the previous disappointments.
I'll let you know how it turns out.
An Insult for the Boss
I wonder if I said the following to my boss (when she gets mean), if she would recognize which movie it's from?
"You wart-hog faced buffoon!"
"You wart-hog faced buffoon!"
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Autumn Days
I love autumn days like this. It's cold, but the air feels so fresh, and the colors are gorgeous. It's the kind of day when you'd like put on a hat and go for a walk, and hope that just before you get back home it starts to snow. Then you would have a reason to go inside and light a fire, where you could warm up your nose and hands, while drinking a hot-buttered rum and listening to classical music. (Or maybe Diana Krall.)
These are the kind of days when I miss the Balkans. The mountains, white with snow by now, and the villages beneath with their fiery colored trees and cobblestone streets (I loved the sound my boots made on those stones). The little taverns with traditional music, food, and drink. Such a simple village life, there - and yet so satisfying. If only for a little while.
I love autumn days like this.
These are the kind of days when I miss the Balkans. The mountains, white with snow by now, and the villages beneath with their fiery colored trees and cobblestone streets (I loved the sound my boots made on those stones). The little taverns with traditional music, food, and drink. Such a simple village life, there - and yet so satisfying. If only for a little while.
I love autumn days like this.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A Question
Do you believe people are all basically good? When I was a little girl, I certainly did. Now, after years of experience in the big wide world, I am not so sure. I don’t believe by any means that people are basically bad. I think the conclusion that I have reached is this. Generally speaking, people are not basically good, or bad. They are basically selfish. My friend Darrell said it best with the phrase that most people would say if they were to be honest:
“Me first, fuck you!”
This does not mean that I am a cynic, though I realize I sound like one. Nonetheless, the truth is that most people will lie, cheat, and steal to get what they want. They will use past events and current trends to justify their actions. Sadly, most of the of the time if people were just honest, they would most likely end up with exactly what they want – sans the complications that inevitably arise from deception.
Nobody’s perfect. How could they be? It’s a relative concept. And I have made mistakes, just like everyone else. I’ve said and done hurtful things. However, as I get older and I learn more about life, I find myself stopping to think for a moment before I act. I think of how my behavior effects others. Is this action loving, or unloving? Kind, or unkind? Is this behavior balanced for all parties involved? This person is someone’s son, or daughter, brother or sister. Somebody loves them very much. Would I want my son or daughter, brother or sister, to be treated by someone else the way I am treating this person?
I’ve also learned that clinging to past hurts and fears is not beneficial. All it does is eat you up from the inside, and most likely will lead to others getting hurt – like an endless cycle of pain. It’s hard, but I’ve learned to forgive. I learn to let go. I use hurtful experiences as opportunities for the future – opportunities to help me remember to always treat others with compassion (though this is not to indicate that I will throw my pearls before swine a second time).
When I was a little girl, I lived on a farm. We had pigs and chickens, horses and cows, sheep and goats. We had turkeys and geese and cats and dogs. My adopted father was quite brutal to these animals. I am a very sensitive person and this cruelty on his part truly disturbed me. When I was 8 years old, he gave me an ax and handed me a chicken and told me to chop it’s head off. I was hysterical. I couldn’t see through the tears in my eyes to do what he asked me to do. He told me that I would get use to it – that I would toughen up and get strong – that animals did not feel pain and therefore did not suffer. But I did not believe him. I knew they suffered and as time passed, I only became more sensitive to that suffering.
I am like a pale skinned person who goes out in the sun and gets burned, but never tanned. I get hurt, but I don’t get calloused. I crawl under my rock for awhile and lick my wounds, and when I come out I am not harder. I am only wiser, and more sensitive. I am more kind than I was before.
I am an anomaly, I guess. I believe, however, if more people took a couple of seconds to think about how their actions effect others – that the world would be a much better place. There would be a lot less suffering in this world if we all at least tried to be a little more compassionate.
“Me first, fuck you!”
This does not mean that I am a cynic, though I realize I sound like one. Nonetheless, the truth is that most people will lie, cheat, and steal to get what they want. They will use past events and current trends to justify their actions. Sadly, most of the of the time if people were just honest, they would most likely end up with exactly what they want – sans the complications that inevitably arise from deception.
Nobody’s perfect. How could they be? It’s a relative concept. And I have made mistakes, just like everyone else. I’ve said and done hurtful things. However, as I get older and I learn more about life, I find myself stopping to think for a moment before I act. I think of how my behavior effects others. Is this action loving, or unloving? Kind, or unkind? Is this behavior balanced for all parties involved? This person is someone’s son, or daughter, brother or sister. Somebody loves them very much. Would I want my son or daughter, brother or sister, to be treated by someone else the way I am treating this person?
I’ve also learned that clinging to past hurts and fears is not beneficial. All it does is eat you up from the inside, and most likely will lead to others getting hurt – like an endless cycle of pain. It’s hard, but I’ve learned to forgive. I learn to let go. I use hurtful experiences as opportunities for the future – opportunities to help me remember to always treat others with compassion (though this is not to indicate that I will throw my pearls before swine a second time).
When I was a little girl, I lived on a farm. We had pigs and chickens, horses and cows, sheep and goats. We had turkeys and geese and cats and dogs. My adopted father was quite brutal to these animals. I am a very sensitive person and this cruelty on his part truly disturbed me. When I was 8 years old, he gave me an ax and handed me a chicken and told me to chop it’s head off. I was hysterical. I couldn’t see through the tears in my eyes to do what he asked me to do. He told me that I would get use to it – that I would toughen up and get strong – that animals did not feel pain and therefore did not suffer. But I did not believe him. I knew they suffered and as time passed, I only became more sensitive to that suffering.
I am like a pale skinned person who goes out in the sun and gets burned, but never tanned. I get hurt, but I don’t get calloused. I crawl under my rock for awhile and lick my wounds, and when I come out I am not harder. I am only wiser, and more sensitive. I am more kind than I was before.
I am an anomaly, I guess. I believe, however, if more people took a couple of seconds to think about how their actions effect others – that the world would be a much better place. There would be a lot less suffering in this world if we all at least tried to be a little more compassionate.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
All in a day at the office!
Two weeks ago my supervisor, AKA Barbie, took it upon herself to yell at me so loud that the whole office downstairs heard her. Below is a summation of what her opinion of me was at that time:
1. I am extremely aggressive.
2. She is terrified of me.
3. I give her excuses on a daily basis of why I have not done my job.
4. I forget everything.
5. I am cheating on my time cards.
6. I always procrastinate the most important things.
7. I am not aggressive enough in getting Medicaid and Medicare to pay claims.
8. I miss way too much work.
9. I am a liar.
10. I cling tenaciously to my work - I want to do it myself, and I refuse to let anyone help me.
There are several problems with the above list. Therefore, I would like to respond to each and every item on it. Please see below.
1. I am not aggressive enough. If I were, she wouldn't be yelling at me. I'll have to work on that.
2. She should be afraid of me. She has no idea what I'm capable of.
3. If I have not done my job, then why was she so mad at me? I thought that was my job.
4. I forgot what my point on this item was going to be.
5. Why shouldn't I cheat on my time cards? According to Barbie and the owner, everyone is.
6. I will write the answer to this item tomorrow.
7. If I am not aggressive enough with Medicare and Medicaid, then why is my name and photo on their 'no admit' list for entry into their buildings?
8. I have only been out sick twice a week since the beginning of the year. Did the company policy change? I thought we were allowed up to five days a week? Or maybe it was five days a year?
9. I only lie to cover up the fact that I am not doing anything all day except looking at pornography.
10. Get away from my desk! This is MY work!!! I will do it!
Why do I bring all of this up now? Well, today Barbie decides to compliment me. She tells me what an excellent job I am doing on the Medicare and Medicaid claims. How in all the years that she has been here (ten) she has never seen the aging so clean, and so many claims paid. That she is extremely impressed with how I do my job. That she had been trying to get previous Medical Billers to do as great of work as I do.
Earlier this morning she also sent me a complimentary e-mail. Apparently, the owner is very happy with my work, and appreciates all that I do. And yes, the owner has sent me a few e-mails complimenting me on my work as well.
Are these people on crack!? Two weeks ago I am an aggressive, lying, forgetful, lazy crook who is terrorizing them, and today, I am the best Medical Biller they have ever had! I have not changed any of my work habits in those two weeks. Other than sending some extra e-mails for CYA purposes (after being called a liar). That's it! Even if I had, how could I possibly go from such a monster to such a dream in two weeks!? Apparently, it depends on their moods whether or not I am a valuable employee.
I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone!
1. I am extremely aggressive.
2. She is terrified of me.
3. I give her excuses on a daily basis of why I have not done my job.
4. I forget everything.
5. I am cheating on my time cards.
6. I always procrastinate the most important things.
7. I am not aggressive enough in getting Medicaid and Medicare to pay claims.
8. I miss way too much work.
9. I am a liar.
10. I cling tenaciously to my work - I want to do it myself, and I refuse to let anyone help me.
There are several problems with the above list. Therefore, I would like to respond to each and every item on it. Please see below.
1. I am not aggressive enough. If I were, she wouldn't be yelling at me. I'll have to work on that.
2. She should be afraid of me. She has no idea what I'm capable of.
3. If I have not done my job, then why was she so mad at me? I thought that was my job.
4. I forgot what my point on this item was going to be.
5. Why shouldn't I cheat on my time cards? According to Barbie and the owner, everyone is.
6. I will write the answer to this item tomorrow.
7. If I am not aggressive enough with Medicare and Medicaid, then why is my name and photo on their 'no admit' list for entry into their buildings?
8. I have only been out sick twice a week since the beginning of the year. Did the company policy change? I thought we were allowed up to five days a week? Or maybe it was five days a year?
9. I only lie to cover up the fact that I am not doing anything all day except looking at pornography.
10. Get away from my desk! This is MY work!!! I will do it!
Why do I bring all of this up now? Well, today Barbie decides to compliment me. She tells me what an excellent job I am doing on the Medicare and Medicaid claims. How in all the years that she has been here (ten) she has never seen the aging so clean, and so many claims paid. That she is extremely impressed with how I do my job. That she had been trying to get previous Medical Billers to do as great of work as I do.
Earlier this morning she also sent me a complimentary e-mail. Apparently, the owner is very happy with my work, and appreciates all that I do. And yes, the owner has sent me a few e-mails complimenting me on my work as well.
Are these people on crack!? Two weeks ago I am an aggressive, lying, forgetful, lazy crook who is terrorizing them, and today, I am the best Medical Biller they have ever had! I have not changed any of my work habits in those two weeks. Other than sending some extra e-mails for CYA purposes (after being called a liar). That's it! Even if I had, how could I possibly go from such a monster to such a dream in two weeks!? Apparently, it depends on their moods whether or not I am a valuable employee.
I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Insane Freaks
A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I was going to become one of those insane freaks who get up before (not at - before) the crack of dawn to go to the gym. The idea is to get your workout done before work, instead of after, so you can have your evenings free (I think I must have been on crack at the time I made this decision - that is the only possible explanation for me to come up with such a ridiculous idea).
So this morning my alarm goes off at 4:50 (I set it ten minutes early so that I would be able to hit the snooze a couple of times), and after I woke up, I laid in bed thinking:
"Why on earth would someone in their right mind want to get up at FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!? And not just get up, but get up and actually exercise at this god-awful hour?"
I continued to lay in bed for about seven minutes, trying to think of some excuses why I should go back to sleep. Instead, I managed somehow to find reasons NOT to say in bed (the crack was clearly not out of my system yet).
So, I get up, get coffee, have breakfast, and finally head out to the gym. When I arrive, I see that I am not alone. Plenty of other insane freaks are up and exercising as well. In fact, I actually found some that were more extreme than me. There were several people playing raquetball. Raquetball! Now, that is truly crazy. I mean, who does that? That is way too social for 6 a.m.!! If I tried to play raquetball at that hour, somebody would get hurt, and I am pretty sure it wouldn't be me.
As it turns out, I had a really great workout. There weren't many of the big muscle men there, so all the weights I needed were available. Nor was the stairmaster-hogging old man there, so I got my thirty minutes on that (no, the gym did not install a water fountain on top of the stairmaster - that was just me - sweating). The only downside was that Chicken Man was not there. I find his antics quite entertaining. I have my music and all, but when I am up that high on the stairmaster, it's nice to have something fun to look at - it distracts me from the agony (the word master in that name is quite appropriate).
Hopefully, I will be able to keep this up long enough for it to become a habit. I am not a morning person! This takes discipline - I would much rather sleep.
So this morning my alarm goes off at 4:50 (I set it ten minutes early so that I would be able to hit the snooze a couple of times), and after I woke up, I laid in bed thinking:
"Why on earth would someone in their right mind want to get up at FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!? And not just get up, but get up and actually exercise at this god-awful hour?"
I continued to lay in bed for about seven minutes, trying to think of some excuses why I should go back to sleep. Instead, I managed somehow to find reasons NOT to say in bed (the crack was clearly not out of my system yet).
So, I get up, get coffee, have breakfast, and finally head out to the gym. When I arrive, I see that I am not alone. Plenty of other insane freaks are up and exercising as well. In fact, I actually found some that were more extreme than me. There were several people playing raquetball. Raquetball! Now, that is truly crazy. I mean, who does that? That is way too social for 6 a.m.!! If I tried to play raquetball at that hour, somebody would get hurt, and I am pretty sure it wouldn't be me.
As it turns out, I had a really great workout. There weren't many of the big muscle men there, so all the weights I needed were available. Nor was the stairmaster-hogging old man there, so I got my thirty minutes on that (no, the gym did not install a water fountain on top of the stairmaster - that was just me - sweating). The only downside was that Chicken Man was not there. I find his antics quite entertaining. I have my music and all, but when I am up that high on the stairmaster, it's nice to have something fun to look at - it distracts me from the agony (the word master in that name is quite appropriate).
Hopefully, I will be able to keep this up long enough for it to become a habit. I am not a morning person! This takes discipline - I would much rather sleep.
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