It's been set, tentatively. It's a year and a half away, and yet when I read it, my heart rate picks up and my breath quickens. I wonder why... after sixteen years ... I am still (if I am to be honest with myself) just a little bit afraid of him.
I can't decide if I even wish I'd gone to the hearing, or not. Would it have made a difference? Even if it did, it's only two years more he'd have to serve.
I wonder...what difference does all of this make now? After all these years? My name is changed. I look different than I did when I was 18, and really, is he going to risk his freedom to try and hurt me again? Would it be worth it to him to get even?
I don't know. I just don't know.
I hate that any of this still matters.
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