Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
War Movies
Saturday night I was up late. I was drinking wine and watching TV. The movie 'Black Hawk Down' came on. I was not going to watch it, as I hate war movies. I decided to go ahead, because it was full of gorgeous men. I should have known better.
I hate war movies because I can't tolerate the brutality. It seriously upsets me, and I can literally start having anxiety attacks when I watch them. This is because of my awareness that most war movies are based on real events. Some of the story may be fictional, but primarily all war movies are about actual wars that have occurred throughout history.
Isn't it strange how humans consider themselves the most superior species on earth? We are supposed to be more evolved than any other animal in the world. Yet, we are the only species on earth to commit such atrocious acts of brutality against each other. Not to other species (though we do that as well) but to each other. And for what? Territory? Power? Control? Money?
We humans may believe we are superior and highly evolved, but we are not. We cannot even extend compassion to each other, let alone for other species. Until we learn to do so, we will be less that the other species we deem inferior and whom we call 'beasts'.
I hate war movies because I can't tolerate the brutality. It seriously upsets me, and I can literally start having anxiety attacks when I watch them. This is because of my awareness that most war movies are based on real events. Some of the story may be fictional, but primarily all war movies are about actual wars that have occurred throughout history.
Isn't it strange how humans consider themselves the most superior species on earth? We are supposed to be more evolved than any other animal in the world. Yet, we are the only species on earth to commit such atrocious acts of brutality against each other. Not to other species (though we do that as well) but to each other. And for what? Territory? Power? Control? Money?
We humans may believe we are superior and highly evolved, but we are not. We cannot even extend compassion to each other, let alone for other species. Until we learn to do so, we will be less that the other species we deem inferior and whom we call 'beasts'.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Divorce
The IT guy in my office is going through a divorce. Every time he comes upstairs, and when I go downstairs for whatever reason, I hear him talking about it. On and on and on it goes.
I really have to say that despite the way Nick treated me and all that he put me through throughout our marriage, I am so grateful that our divorce was amicable! I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if either one of us had decided to be difficult. Or spiteful.
I can understand people feeling vindictive after they are hurt, or rejected. And I can understand why someone would be hurt and frustrated at someone purposely lashing out at them because of it. I've been on both sides of that fence. It just seems to me that divorce is hard enough on everyone in the first place. It seems to me that when it becomes a battle over finances that is really about getting even, it makes it hard on everyone.
I feel for the guy. I do, but I am getting tired of hearing about his and his soon to be ex-wife's vindictive behaviors and statements. I'm just not sure that work is the appropriate outlet for that frustration.
I really have to say that despite the way Nick treated me and all that he put me through throughout our marriage, I am so grateful that our divorce was amicable! I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if either one of us had decided to be difficult. Or spiteful.
I can understand people feeling vindictive after they are hurt, or rejected. And I can understand why someone would be hurt and frustrated at someone purposely lashing out at them because of it. I've been on both sides of that fence. It just seems to me that divorce is hard enough on everyone in the first place. It seems to me that when it becomes a battle over finances that is really about getting even, it makes it hard on everyone.
I feel for the guy. I do, but I am getting tired of hearing about his and his soon to be ex-wife's vindictive behaviors and statements. I'm just not sure that work is the appropriate outlet for that frustration.
My hometown
So I've done some thinking about my post regarding my hometown yesterday. I have begun to think that it is not completely fair. I should not accuse everyone that lives there or ever lived there of being hateful.
There are some really good people that still live in my hometown. People who are not, and were not, cold and cruel. I am sure there are people there whom I do not know personally that are none of those things either.
I do not have only sad memories of my home town. I also have many pleasant memories of my childhood there. There are places and people there that I will always remember with fondness. I imagine also that I am the person I am today because I am a sum of my experiences, not the least of which occurred there.
So if anyone read this and thought I was being too harsh and angry, forgive me. Though what I said was true, from my viewpoint, I do not mean to indicate that everything about my hometown is bad. I was having a moment of unpleasantness due to some painful memories and I was overwhelmed.
There are some really good people that still live in my hometown. People who are not, and were not, cold and cruel. I am sure there are people there whom I do not know personally that are none of those things either.
I do not have only sad memories of my home town. I also have many pleasant memories of my childhood there. There are places and people there that I will always remember with fondness. I imagine also that I am the person I am today because I am a sum of my experiences, not the least of which occurred there.
So if anyone read this and thought I was being too harsh and angry, forgive me. Though what I said was true, from my viewpoint, I do not mean to indicate that everything about my hometown is bad. I was having a moment of unpleasantness due to some painful memories and I was overwhelmed.
How Ridiculous!
A friend of mine whom I worked with at my old place of employment sent me an e-mail this morning. She informed me that the owner (aka The Petty Tyrant) is going to film a commercial with a local TV station, as well as record one for am radio.
How did I respond to this?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! HOW RIDICULOUS!
Why do I laugh, you ask? Allow me to provide you with a list of my reasons why.
1. The company (which is run by The Petty Tyrant) is so far behind on payroll taxes they are in danger of being in serious trouble with the IRS.
2. The Clinical Coordinator, who was responsible for keeping the company's reputation in semi-good shape with customers and patients in the field has finally had enough and left the company.
3. The company can barely pay it's regular monthly bills due to the owner spending freely whenever she chooses from the company accounts. She buys new clothes, takes vacations (last year she took 8 vacations), and generally spends her money on other non-necessary things. How is she going to afford to pay for two commercials?
4. The employee's paychecks bounce. No, I am not kidding. My other friend who works there and has to support two children under the age of three by herself has had her paycheck bounce five times.
5. The owner will not know how to accommodate the new business should it actually be brought in as a result of these commercials. She drives all her nurses away with her obsessive-compulsive need for control, her enraged outbursts and her verbally abusive, condescending behavior (please see my previous blogs regarding this subject).
6. The owner and the person in charge of the finance department purposely defraud their employees of rightfully earned overtime and other wages, and they have been dishonest with their dealings with the IRS, and I am going to report them (I should have done it ages ago but have not gotten around to it). A commercial is not going to save them from their own unethical behavior.
That is why I think the idea of them spending money on commercials is absolutely ridiculous!
How did I respond to this?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! HOW RIDICULOUS!
Why do I laugh, you ask? Allow me to provide you with a list of my reasons why.
1. The company (which is run by The Petty Tyrant) is so far behind on payroll taxes they are in danger of being in serious trouble with the IRS.
2. The Clinical Coordinator, who was responsible for keeping the company's reputation in semi-good shape with customers and patients in the field has finally had enough and left the company.
3. The company can barely pay it's regular monthly bills due to the owner spending freely whenever she chooses from the company accounts. She buys new clothes, takes vacations (last year she took 8 vacations), and generally spends her money on other non-necessary things. How is she going to afford to pay for two commercials?
4. The employee's paychecks bounce. No, I am not kidding. My other friend who works there and has to support two children under the age of three by herself has had her paycheck bounce five times.
5. The owner will not know how to accommodate the new business should it actually be brought in as a result of these commercials. She drives all her nurses away with her obsessive-compulsive need for control, her enraged outbursts and her verbally abusive, condescending behavior (please see my previous blogs regarding this subject).
6. The owner and the person in charge of the finance department purposely defraud their employees of rightfully earned overtime and other wages, and they have been dishonest with their dealings with the IRS, and I am going to report them (I should have done it ages ago but have not gotten around to it). A commercial is not going to save them from their own unethical behavior.
That is why I think the idea of them spending money on commercials is absolutely ridiculous!
Spring
Will it ever get here?
The greenbelt is calling me. I want to go rollerblading! I want to go biking!
The greenbelt is calling me. I want to go rollerblading! I want to go biking!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Boyfriends
Here is my friend Hilary's boyfriend.
Here is my boyfriend.
Once again, I have better taste in men than she does.
PS
HA HA HA!
Here is my boyfriend.
Once again, I have better taste in men than she does.
PS
HA HA HA!
I Hate Small Towns
I was looking at a friends facebook page today. Someone I knew growing up. I decided to look at some of his friends. Talk about a blast from the past, and not in a good way.
It is interesting to me how many people seem to romanticize the small town in America (particularly the Republicans). It is my belief that these people have either never lived in a small town, or they are just like the hateful people I knew in my own hometown.
Seeing so many of the people from my hometown brought back memories of just how cruel that place really was, and probably still is. It reminded me of all the horrible things that were said about me and my family. Little bits of truth that mutated to become unrecognizable tall tales and outright lies. There is a lot of truth in the phrase, "It takes a whole village to raise a child."
Don't get me wrong. There were a few unique people who treated me with respect and kindness. A few people who became lifelong friends. The majority, however, were cold and cruel.
It wasn't enough that my siblings and I were innocent. We were stuck in a home with a father and mother who beat us, enslaved us, isolated us, and made sure to tell us on a daily basis what rotten, stupid, perverted and evil little bastards we all were. This was not considered by the villagers, however. We were simply classified as freaks like our parents and were therefore the perfect laughing stock for the town.
The most astounding thing as an adult is to look back and see the gross hypocrisy of the people there. One of the individuals I saw on facebook is a woman who when she was a girl, had acted out on me when I was a tiny child (5 years old) what her abuser - her father - had done to her. The same man who was so quick to point the finger at my parents, and who was also in law enforcement.
These are people who called my little sister a tramp when she was fifteen and at that time had only ever been with one boy. People who called me crazy and ugly and fat and weird. The same people who knew perfectly well we were abused from the time we were very little, and yet not once did they try to help us. Not once.
It is funny to me also that after all these years I find out that someone whom I thought was my friend back then was making fun of me behind my back, and I am still surprised. He told me the boy I liked, liked me too. He insisted that I display my interest and be assertive because the boy I liked was timid, and just needed a nudge. All the while he is making fun of me, behind my back, to that boy, who wondered why I came on so strong. I was idealistic and trusting, and what a joke I was to them!
Speaking for myself, I can say that all I really wanted was for them to accept me. I had been home-schooled for most of my childhood, and I was not exactly accustomed to social situations among my peers. I had been completely isolated for so long that my efforts to display interest in a boy I liked, or to start a new friendship with a girl my age were perceived as overly serious, pushy, or just plain weird. Really, I was just an awkward kid who wanted to have some friends her own age (or close to it), and maybe a boyfriend. I had just been isolated for so long that I was literally terrified of being around my peers in the first place, and yet I was determined to overcome that fear. All the while dealing with the abuse at home.
I wanted the people there to see me for the person I truly was, not for what my parents were or what the rumors said I was. I wanted to be accepted and valued as a part of the community. Instead, I was shunned. I remember many nights when I cried myself to sleep wishing that I could run away from that place and all of them, and never look back.
It is amazing how different things are now. Now, I am an independent, self-confident, out going woman. I am aware, now, of my own value. I have (or had), friends and lovers who appreciate me and recognize my worth.
I value the few precious friends that I have left in that place. I love them and would not trade their friendship for the world. And there are others who have, like me, turned their back (for the most part) on that place, and I appreciate them as well.
As for the rest of that cesspool, I am well rid of it and it's hateful occupants.
It is interesting to me how many people seem to romanticize the small town in America (particularly the Republicans). It is my belief that these people have either never lived in a small town, or they are just like the hateful people I knew in my own hometown.
Seeing so many of the people from my hometown brought back memories of just how cruel that place really was, and probably still is. It reminded me of all the horrible things that were said about me and my family. Little bits of truth that mutated to become unrecognizable tall tales and outright lies. There is a lot of truth in the phrase, "It takes a whole village to raise a child."
Don't get me wrong. There were a few unique people who treated me with respect and kindness. A few people who became lifelong friends. The majority, however, were cold and cruel.
It wasn't enough that my siblings and I were innocent. We were stuck in a home with a father and mother who beat us, enslaved us, isolated us, and made sure to tell us on a daily basis what rotten, stupid, perverted and evil little bastards we all were. This was not considered by the villagers, however. We were simply classified as freaks like our parents and were therefore the perfect laughing stock for the town.
The most astounding thing as an adult is to look back and see the gross hypocrisy of the people there. One of the individuals I saw on facebook is a woman who when she was a girl, had acted out on me when I was a tiny child (5 years old) what her abuser - her father - had done to her. The same man who was so quick to point the finger at my parents, and who was also in law enforcement.
These are people who called my little sister a tramp when she was fifteen and at that time had only ever been with one boy. People who called me crazy and ugly and fat and weird. The same people who knew perfectly well we were abused from the time we were very little, and yet not once did they try to help us. Not once.
It is funny to me also that after all these years I find out that someone whom I thought was my friend back then was making fun of me behind my back, and I am still surprised. He told me the boy I liked, liked me too. He insisted that I display my interest and be assertive because the boy I liked was timid, and just needed a nudge. All the while he is making fun of me, behind my back, to that boy, who wondered why I came on so strong. I was idealistic and trusting, and what a joke I was to them!
Speaking for myself, I can say that all I really wanted was for them to accept me. I had been home-schooled for most of my childhood, and I was not exactly accustomed to social situations among my peers. I had been completely isolated for so long that my efforts to display interest in a boy I liked, or to start a new friendship with a girl my age were perceived as overly serious, pushy, or just plain weird. Really, I was just an awkward kid who wanted to have some friends her own age (or close to it), and maybe a boyfriend. I had just been isolated for so long that I was literally terrified of being around my peers in the first place, and yet I was determined to overcome that fear. All the while dealing with the abuse at home.
I wanted the people there to see me for the person I truly was, not for what my parents were or what the rumors said I was. I wanted to be accepted and valued as a part of the community. Instead, I was shunned. I remember many nights when I cried myself to sleep wishing that I could run away from that place and all of them, and never look back.
It is amazing how different things are now. Now, I am an independent, self-confident, out going woman. I am aware, now, of my own value. I have (or had), friends and lovers who appreciate me and recognize my worth.
I value the few precious friends that I have left in that place. I love them and would not trade their friendship for the world. And there are others who have, like me, turned their back (for the most part) on that place, and I appreciate them as well.
As for the rest of that cesspool, I am well rid of it and it's hateful occupants.
Monday, February 9, 2009
My Poetry
This is to all of you who are guilty of one of the following offenses:
1. You didn't bother to read my poems.
2. You didn't like them.
3. You laughed at them, and then immediately dumped me.
4. You failed to return my phone call last weekend.
I was going to add "You were jealous of my astounding literary talent", but I have decided that you should not be penalized for being jealous of my abilities. Who wouldn't be? (Just kidding.)
I would like to inform you that I have received a request from a publisher for an entire manuscript. I am about to be published. HA!
So THERE!
PS
Hehehehee! I am so stoked!
1. You didn't bother to read my poems.
2. You didn't like them.
3. You laughed at them, and then immediately dumped me.
4. You failed to return my phone call last weekend.
I was going to add "You were jealous of my astounding literary talent", but I have decided that you should not be penalized for being jealous of my abilities. Who wouldn't be? (Just kidding.)
I would like to inform you that I have received a request from a publisher for an entire manuscript. I am about to be published. HA!
So THERE!
PS
Hehehehee! I am so stoked!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Public Apology
I would like to take a moment to apologize for the atrocious behavior of one of the members of my man-harem. For the sake of privacy, I will not use his name. I will simply call him # 7.
I am ashamed to say that the behavior of # 7 came to light this morning after a recording of him was released to the public. I would like to be clear that I am not upset, nor am I apologizing for
# 7 because of what he said on the tape. I could care less who he swears at or whose ass he threatens to kick.
What I am apologizing for, is that the recording was ever made public in the first place. I am so sorry you all had to see such weakness on the part of # 7. He should never have allowed, under any circumstances, a recording like that to be released. Firstly, instead of threatening to kick the other individual's ass, he should simply have done it. Actions speak louder than words, and have a longer lasting effect.
This whole mess could have been very easily prevented. After kicking this person's ass, he should have taken the tape from them at that time and destroyed it. At the very least, # 7 should have acquired the tape after the fact. If the person in possesion of it refused to hand it over, then he should have immediately killed them, and quietly disposed of the body.
In summation, I am ashamed at # 7's disgusting public display of weakness. Be assured that # 7 will be disciplined, as this type of behavior will absolutely not be tolerated. It is clear that I have coddled him too much. I preferred not to beat him, but he has forced my hand. His cush days as a member of my man-harem are over.
It is time for him to become a part of my covert experiments for the perfect soldier. As part of these experiments, he will learn the value of action versus talk. I see a great potential for aggression in him. It seems all he needs is the proper training.
I will keep you posted on his progress.
I am ashamed to say that the behavior of # 7 came to light this morning after a recording of him was released to the public. I would like to be clear that I am not upset, nor am I apologizing for
# 7 because of what he said on the tape. I could care less who he swears at or whose ass he threatens to kick.
What I am apologizing for, is that the recording was ever made public in the first place. I am so sorry you all had to see such weakness on the part of # 7. He should never have allowed, under any circumstances, a recording like that to be released. Firstly, instead of threatening to kick the other individual's ass, he should simply have done it. Actions speak louder than words, and have a longer lasting effect.
This whole mess could have been very easily prevented. After kicking this person's ass, he should have taken the tape from them at that time and destroyed it. At the very least, # 7 should have acquired the tape after the fact. If the person in possesion of it refused to hand it over, then he should have immediately killed them, and quietly disposed of the body.
In summation, I am ashamed at # 7's disgusting public display of weakness. Be assured that # 7 will be disciplined, as this type of behavior will absolutely not be tolerated. It is clear that I have coddled him too much. I preferred not to beat him, but he has forced my hand. His cush days as a member of my man-harem are over.
It is time for him to become a part of my covert experiments for the perfect soldier. As part of these experiments, he will learn the value of action versus talk. I see a great potential for aggression in him. It seems all he needs is the proper training.
I will keep you posted on his progress.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
